Go Wildcats!

Roger's House ends tommorow. These two weeks have been incredibly enjoyable. I still don't have a partner, and to be honest, Duck and I are getting slightly concerned about that. I had a moderately radical idea about asking someone from another school if they might be interested in transferring to NU to debate with me, and the Duck said the situation was so dire he might actually think about it if I don't find a partner by the end of the week. I'm unsure as to whether asking that person to be my partner is a good idea... but at the very least, it would be an interesting endeavor.

It's really cool being part of a team that's actually adequately funded for once. The freedom that money affords us here is astounding, we never have to skimp on resources. I can't remember ever being in a club that was anything but underfunded in high school...speech, girl's golf...key club?!? We never had the money for activities the way we would have liked to. Here, when I need something for debate, the Duck waves his magic wand and fiats it into being. More and more everyday I'm glad I didn't do the honors program @ U of I, or take a scholarship anywhere else either. It's just an amazing feeling to have all the resources of this university behind me.

I love the debate kids, I love the family atmosphere that surrounds them, and I hope that I'll become more a part of it as I spend more time with them. I think I've found a really good girlfriend in Rachel and I hope that we stay close in the future, even though we're not living together. That being said, I also hope that I make friends outside of the debate community (I'm sure I will).

As for the rundown of my second weekend @ NU? After a ridiculous amount of work during the day, on Friday night we all went over to Phi Psi for poker and beer and Avery scrounged up some "girl beer" for me while he and Reedy regaled me with Northwestern Greek life stories. I think I am going to go Greek, but I'm going ot try and find a low key sorority that doesn't want to dominate my life. After Matt walked me home from Phi Psi, I hung out for a bit in the room, and then Mark (Hammer) and I decided to go on a beach walk. Getting over the 7 foot fence was sort of an interesting experience, since I couldn't really walk straight thanks to my glass of vodka earlier...but regardless, once Mark got me over, the view was worth it. SPAC beach at 2 AM is one of the most gorgeous places I've ever been. 2 hours later I dropped my sandy self into bed, only to wake up with a monster headache and sand everywhere. Anyways, Saturday included lots of work (as usual), manicures and pedicures with Rachel, dinner @ Dave's with Noah, and finally another beach walk (more sand) complete with vodka shooters. I like the rhythm life has settled into here, lots of hard work, followed by decent amounts of fun. I have a feeling my work is going to increase exponentially shortly here and since I'm not really willing to cut down on my fun, I'm sure my sleep will be the first thing I cut out. Oh well, as Duck says - you can sleep when you're dead.

It's been really interesting watching the campus fill up, I've never really been down here when school was in full swing -- and as a result, I've always had my space on campus. There aren't ever crowds around, and the place is sort of my own. While that's nice, it makes for a differenct sort of experience. It's as if the sound is muffled a bit...there's no vibrancy, no contagious energy about the place. I can't wait for people to start arriving and for the lethargy of the place to be broken up.

As a final sidebar - I've been reading the Republican National Convention speeches for the affirmative I'm writing, and I've seriously been tearing up all morning. WHY do our politicians sound more like missionaries, out to convert the entire world into a haven for "right" thinking christians?!? I have nothing against either religion or Christianity, but I also don't believe it needs to be the prevailing world view. It scares me, the amount of power we've place (are continuting to place) into the hands of people who equate "evil" with mindsets not analogous to their own. What a skewed perception. Read the text of some of these speeches if you get a chance and you'll realize that they read more like sermons than anything else, I am continually reminded of the poem "White Man's Burden". Our egotism is so monstrous, it's tragic.

PS: Whoever said NU boys weren't cute....lied. I ran into several cute ones on the way to Einstein's today in the morning. Mmmm, flirting with well dressed golfers....that's a much more satisfying breakfast than bagels would be ;).

PPS: To all of those of you who got cookies this week...I hope they aren't stale! I used regular ground mail because next day air mail was astronomically expensive!

<3, serena
xoxo

would you think it was hot if i spread?

this weekend was interesting, suffice to say. i had "class" (aka debate practice) every day but sunday, which meant that my saturday started about four hours earlier than i'd have liked it to. and it began with a very bad rendition of the "fuck, fuck, fuck a duck" song at the top of my lungs -- i think my shower might have given me hypothermia. northwestern apparently decided to shut off all the hot water from thursday to tuesday - which made for very interesting showers. the girls in my dorm developed this technique by which we'd stand outside the showers soap our hair, and just dash in for ten second increments. needless to say, it was interesting. sunday was interesting too, rachel and i woke up around noon and wandered into town for lunch, only to come home and not move from our chairs until somewhere around 8 pm. i think my spine has been permanently compacted by the extensive amounts of time i've been spending slouched in my chair, working furiously at my laptop.

saturday night was hillarious however - the team went to dinner @ dave and busters in the city - only randall forgot that as none of us are 25, we can't really get in. as a result, we were basically sequestered in this little room at the top of the dining area with this guy who was half cruise director/half bouncer lecturing us on how we couldn't leave our "area" without permission. one of the highlights of the evening was definitely when he made us all put on these neon green wristbands so that we couldn't drink and then had us hold our hands above our heads to "show him our bracelets". i thought randall might explode ;). it was classic though, we weren't even allowed to use the restroom without an escort. it was sort of like being in a high security prison .... except for the fact that we were actually deep in the heart of an adult pleasure palace. the irony was not lost on me. we ended the evening @ the duck's apartment (which is practically on navy pier!) - complete with beer and the NDT video. i loved the way the duck would grudgingly hand us beers, but as he did so, he would be rattling off the nonalcoholic contents of the refridgerator. he's really quite a character.

as for debate in general, suffice to say that i'm still really scared. but that's old news, i suppose. in between massive amounts of work i've managed to become quite useful to my friends, settling roomate arguments, doing practice work interviews on the phone, offering relationship counseling, holding back people's hair as they are puking their guys out in the bathroom, and even managing to edit a few college essays. i think the best description of me would be "leaps giant buildings with a confident ease .... plus a little skip" ;). not really... but as usual, i love the natural high i get from being uber productive.

on other notes - my music taste is rapidly developing (yay!). you should download "anna begins" by the counting crows immediately in addition to "out loud" by dispatch and "life" by our lady peace. i'm ridiculously addicted to those three songs right now. ( i think they have been on repeat on my laptop for the past day.... those of you who've lived with me... know my tendency to exclusively listen to one particular song for a long time...) i've also discovered that i love music by: pavement, jump little children, the flaming lips, beulah, phantom planet mae, our lady peace and death cab for cutie. it's very exciting. leave me song recommendations.

yesterday the kellogg students started getting to campus for the beginning of grad school and all i am going to say is that they are gorgeous. older men definitely have this je nais se quois about them, they are so much more mature, accessible, interesting and captivating than guys our age. okay, okay, okay .... so maybelly the only guys i've had contact with this past week have been debate boys... (that might be a contributing factor to my level of impressed-ness with the grad school men). walking around campus in a skirt is definitely more interesting now that there are people who will flirt with you though, as opposed to the heinous construction workers who just catcall at you. (speaking of skirts -- i have been managing the impossible lately -- riding my bike to class in a skirt and heels. quite impressive, really ;) ). i can't wait till the rest of the undergrad population move onto campus!

i don't really know what else there is to add, i'm sorry rogers house is ending, it's been a really great experience. getting to know the upperclassmen has really helped me get acclimated to the university so much. and i'm really really going to miss the friendships that have begun to develop these past few weeks.... rachel and genna in particular. it's so nice having new, smart, fun girlfriends again. but all the same, i can't wait for school to start!

go wildcats: 11th in the country!

ps - "would you think it was hot if i spread" .... is in reference to the debate term of "spreading" or reading evidence at approximately 450 words per minute. i'm loving the lingo. (lol rajiv ;) ).

pps: LUCY! thank gosh you're back dweeb. and thank god for weekly scheduled phone calls with my ten best friends. best idea i've had yet. (seriously). i <3 you guys.

Y, serena
xoxo.

Social Lubricant

Alcohol is the best social lubricant. My experience at a frat party the other night wrought this revelation. Now, typical Serena behavior is to tease, cajole, engage, converse etc etc etc. My normal mannerisms tend to be interpreted as flirting and according to my friends I flirt with everything from inanimate objects to old grouchy secretaries. But, apparently I was really going @ it the other night with this guy. The next morning I woke up with the sense that I had done something very wrong, but just couldn't remember what is was. IE: my new theory - alcohol is a social lubricant.

Anyways, debate is hard, impossible, daunting, scary and among many other wonderful things. I honestly can't remember being this scared in my entire life. It's as if I've lost my ability to articulate my thoughts. The other day I found myself using like in a sentence...as a verbalized pause. I never do that! It's as if I have such a strong desire to do well and speak well these next few weeks ... that I'm somehow sabotaging myself, and performing even more poorly than before. No matter what I do, I feel like I'll never be able to catch up to my teammates. They all keep saying things like: "I respect you for being here and trying this," or "Don't expect too much," or even better: "no novice has ever come in without experience before, and there are lots of good reasons why". They are all nice people and I knwo they don't mean to be discouraging, it's just that they don't really have time to babysit me or hold my hand through this process. No one can really accomodate my lack of experience. For some reason, I always seem to end up in this situation. It was the same with golf (I didn't join the team until my soph year, and I was always a year behind everyone else) and with speech (I didn't even start competing until mid junior year in SOS and @ Regionals for Impromptu). Somehow I've always managed to come out on top, DVC Champ for golf and State for speech ... I don't know if that's going to happen with debate, but I think that if I buckle down and actually do some hardwork I at least won't be a detriment to the team.

On other notes, it amazes me how fast I'm losing touch with my friends. Lucy and I keep having these prefunctory conversations online, with both of us dashing off in different directions five minutes after we exchange hellos. Jill and I haven't talked in weeks! It's so frustrating. I think I'm going to start making more of an effort to stay in touch with people as opposed to just assuming things will work themselves out on their own. As a sidebar to that, I have to say that I did have a really good conversation with John today, it was nice to hear about how he's doing @ Berkley, his classes seem really interesting. And then Ashish and I got a chance to catch up last night too after almost a week of missing each other and having unsatisfactory AIM conversations.

My days @ debate start early with a run and usually end up with a late night (early morning) walk on the beach along the lakefill. Mark came with me one night (probably Tuesday night) and we had a deep, long conversation while we were walking. I really like him and his lack of airs. I hope him and I become better friends. My room is gorgeous and huge and my roomie and I are getting along really well (I have no desire to move into my actual dorm with my real roomie come the start of school....groan). Tonight Catie came up, as did Andrea, Beth, Zeljka, Debs and Drew...we grabbed dinner @ Dave's Italian, toured the campus a bit, and then headed down to Navy Pier for the fireworks over the lake. We got to meet up with Mike and his friends from IIT while we were down there too, I didn't realize how long it had been since I had seen him!

This probably doesn't make sense as I'm becoming ridiculously sleep deprived these days. But anyways, I'm going to read a few more chapters and then head over to Frat Row for a bit.

<3 Serena (from college :) ).

PS: Mark said that my picture doesn't do me justice (apparently i'm "much better looking in person") so I'm going to change it. Leave me a comment if you like the new one better! *mwah!